Losing Sleep
by losingsleep20
Summary: A group of one shots based of songs from Parachute's album Losing Sleep. Tony and Ziva.


**A/N: **I'm finally back, and I'm seriously psyched. Not just about this story, but the fact that next week fall TV has officially started. And NCIS premieres. Thought I'd just get that out of the way. So this story is a little different, I guess it would be considered a song fic, but I'm not posting the lyrics within the actual story. Instead, I'm posting a link to the song, and a link to the lyrics. Seriously, just listen to the song. It's so much better when you hear the song. Whether you listen to it before, during, or after you read it, just make sure you listen to the song. All of the songs in this are going to be by a band named Parachute. The song titles will also serve as the chapter names. Hopefully this works out okay.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS or Parachute, or the song. I have an iPod and a computer. S'all I need.

**Song: youtube**.**com/watch?v=kyRH_01EjiA&feature=PlayList&p=FAB6412BDE457D54&index=4  
**

**Lyrics: songmeanings****.net/songs/view/3530822107858776321/**

Just stick http://www. in front of the links. They're being difficult.

Jeez, this was long...I'll try to avoid super long author's notes next time.

* * *

They stood a mere foot from one another, eyes blazing. On any other day, Tony DiNozzo would have enjoyed the short distance separating them. Real words were being exchanged instead of banter loaded with double meanings. He had never expected their most honest moment to be so angry.

"_You jeopardized your entire career, and for what?"_

"_For you."_

Her hard expression faltered, and Tony knew he only had a second to decide where he would direct their conversation. It was a chance, a chance for him to just tell her, and with the way events were continuing, it could very well be his last.

Those two words were just a test. He was only dipping his toes in the water, wanting to see how she would react. He had to decide now, she might say something first if he didn't go on. Did he even want to go on? Did he want to let those two simple words hang in the air?

"_He was playing you, Ziva."_

Immediately, her steely gaze returned, Tony mentally slapped himself, but it was too late, he had already made the decision to cover it up. His gut just told him to wait.

_And sometimes, my gut just sucks._

The conversation picked up again, every word more toxic than the last.

"_You wanna take a punch, take a swing? Go ahead, get it out of your system. DO IT."_

Two remarks later, DiNozzo felt himself thrown to the ground. His face screwed up in pain as his arm was jarred from the impact. Looking up at the woman holding him down, the throbbing in his shoulder and forearm suddenly paled in significance.

They were supposed to be partners. It was supposed to be her pushing a gun barrel into his chest. They should be back in DC, and if anyone should be holding a gun to his chest, it would be the dirt bag they should have been chasing. This was supposed to be the part where Ziva ran in and saved his ass with her ninja skills.

Things never work out the way they are supposed to.

They weren't in DC, they were in Tel Aviv. There was no dirt bag, just them.

"_You loved him."_

He wasn't really asking. He was stating what he was sure he knew, what he was sure he had ruined. There had been some feelings there, even if that hurt to know.

That didn't mean that there had been love there.

The fire in her eyes fell again, and she composed herself as best she could.

"_I guess I'll never know."_

Tony felt her remove the knee that was pinning him down and straighten up. He stared up at the clear Israeli sky, listening to her footsteps retreat away from him. Even over the sound of his labored breathing, he could hear her stop and look back at him.

He couldn't bear to lift his head and meet her brief glance.

-----

"_Boss? One short?"_

Three pairs of eyes were on Gibbs, waiting for the answer. He didn't make eye contact with DiNozzo, but instead gave a thumbs up to the uniformed officer closing the large cargo hatch.

"_Good to go."_

Tony let his head fall back against his seat, feeling lost, knowing inside that it was his fault. If he had told her the truth, maybe they would be leaving as a team. If he hadn't killed Rivkin, they wouldn't even be there anyway. Instead, he sat through take off without his partner. His gaze drifted over to the empty seat next to Gibbs, where she should have been.

His eyes stayed there the whole flight, staring at the mess he made.

* * *

**A/N: **What'd you think? Good, bad, just eh? Review and leave me your favorite line, if you have one. :D If you're confused, just tell me and I'll do my best to clarify things.


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